Thursday, May 16, 2019

Oh Dark Thirty

Veterans Day should be more significant to me. The nation has turned troop recognition into a past time but for me it seems strangely impersonal. We were treated differently when I served. We rarely wore our uniforms in public. No one here today knew me then. No one knows my rating or in which branch I served. Only one person all day, a student, addressed me as a veteran even though I was wearing a large ribbon with the word on it. No friend or relative, not even my ex-wife who was my partner in service, dropped a note of recognition. And I can’t think of a decent word to say about my VA treatment. All that said, I don't mind. Tracking Soviet nuclear subs is not what I remember the most. What lives with me is how the experience changed my personal life. Some are good (living abroad), some are bad (discovering epilepsy), some are ugly (standing night watch on the suicide ward on Treasure Island), and some are most curious. Concerning the latter, when I get up early for work and leave the house before there is any morning light, a small part of my guts are back at RTC Orlando. I smell something that is not there...the peculiar odor of the metal paint pens used to stencil our clothing, ditty, and sea bags. My head is a bit heavy as if I pulled the middle watch....wandering alone in the cool, dark air without much direction, waiting for eight bells.

So I guess Veterans Day for some is all about serving our country. At various times today I felt that. But when the alarm goes off every morning at "oh dark thirty" it's way more personal.
"Tattoo, Tattoo, lights out in five minutes." - (uncredited voice)

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