Say What?

In forty nine years as a student and teacher I never said a cuss word in the classroom. It’s simple, really….I never heard a single curse word out of my parents, Boy Scout leaders, Methodist leaders, community center leaders, teachers, or neighborhood parents. As for children back then, things like cussing was reserved for the locker room when adults were not looking. Even as Mr. Collie cussed at Dan or Joe in my absence he addressed me with extreme civility. The enlisted Navy required every third word to be the F word but by then I could turn it on or off at will. To this day I’ve never heard Sandy or the girls cuss even once.

So, what happened that spring day in 1982? It was not a cuss word but it was vulgar. It was a doozie. I took a class of ninth graders down to the empty cafeteria for a demonstration on the wide open linoleum floor. In those days there were very few designated learning disabilities, a term itself not widely used. This class was in the catch all category of “slow learners”. I was squatting down attempting to demonstrate and simplify a science principle when I looked up and only the girls were watching. The boys’ heads were on swivels...like dogs at the park that had to sniff everything. We had discussed that problem so many times that I just sighed and said, “We’re going back upstairs. You guys are just jackin’ off!” My gut clinched when I heard the words come out of my mouth. Their eyes were as big as saucers as they snapped to attention. In the pregnant pause that followed I could feel my heartbeat in my ears. Then from the back row came a timid male voice saying, “Mr. DeBord, I’m not jacking off.” Did not see that one coming. It took everything I had not to crack up as I replied, “Then pay attention!” And they did.

I’m sure the reason they shaped up was because that was probably the kind of last chance language they heard at home when they had gone too far. As for that anonymous ninth grader....well....I have to assume that somewhere in his past he was caught red handed.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin